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The black bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, Stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend: "The other night when my fiancee came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall Stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long."

The mistress: "Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night."

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, Stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

"What's for dinner, Zorro?"


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Could you get my sneakers?

A guy stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my sneakers please?"

The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both beautiful, who were home from college. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says:

"Hi, ladies! Your dad sent me here to have sex with you!"

They stare at him and say, "That can't be!"

He replies, "OK, let's check!"

He shouts at his friend down the stairs, "Both of them?"

"Yes, both of them!"


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One of these people doesn't belong

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all I can think of is the sound he's probably making when this was taken...kind of like, "whehhh!"
all I can think of is the sound he's probably making when this was taken...kind of like, "whehhh!"
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Enemies in the west

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

"How are we faring?" asks the king.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."

"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

"Oh, no..." says the knight. "Well, you do now."


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